Dating.YourLifeAfter50.com

What Are the Success Rates at Dating Sites?

Edited by Jack Strom — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 01:02:55 +0000

There are many different statistics bandied around about the success rates or lack thereof from people who have used online dating sites.

It is true that there are many people who have experienced very low levels of success with their attempts to find friendship on the online dating sites but there is very good reason why this is so.

The majority of people simply don’t take the time to create interesting profiles that will attract any attention.

Many people don’t even upload photos of themselves.

They need to ask themselves a question – Would they buy a car without seeing what it looks like? Would they buy a car without having enough information to determine whether they would like it or not?

For most people the answer would be no and that is the same answer they can expect if they were asked whether they would be interested in someone who they have very little information about and they don’t even have a picture to see what they look like.

Good promotion is the key to success with online dating sites and that includes interesting information about yourself with as much details of your hobbies, personality and so on to help someone else make a good decision and a suitable photo so they can see whether they are attracted to you or not or whether they might be attracted to you if they have some time to develop a relationship.

It’s as simple as that. You have to ‘sell yourself’ or you will be getting the same results that all the other people do when they put very little effort into their profiles and that it – not very much success at all.

If you want results you need to spend the time making the most of the opportunities that are available on the online dating sites. If that seems too hard then consider the alternatives of the night clubs, the bars and the socializing you have to do in the hope of bumping into someone who is compatible with you.

Why Are Women Afraid Of Men?

Edited by Jack Strom — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:12:18 +0000

One of the biggest issues that a guy has to deal with when trying to date or seduce women is getting around the fact that most women are afraid of men. It is not the kind of fear that will cause her to run screaming from the room, but it is no less of a hindrance for that. It is a lack of trust or general wariness that will make her hesitate when you ask for her number, or pay her a compliment. It leads her to read all kinds of things into the simplest statement.

Of course this is partly because of the small number of men who could be rapists or killers, but women know that this is only a tiny minority of men and they will not suspect most men they meet of this. The worst thing you can do is say, 'I'm not a rapist', as this will immediately bring the possibility into her mind and make it harder for her to argue with the parental voice in her head that is telling her not to trust men.

Most times however the difficulty is getting past her belief that most men will take advantage of girls, abandon them after sex and hurt them emotionally. A lot of mothers tell their daughters that all men are like this at heart. With the number of divorces that are around, society often confirms this belief for the growing girl.

So while they do want to be seduced, most women are wary of a seducer who doesn't want a relationship. This can be a problem if your aim is to seduce and move quickly on to the next, especially if you are known for that.

What you must appeal to in this situation is a woman's love of a challenge. Even if she knows you are the worst kind of seducer in town, it is always possible that she is the one woman in the world who will be able to tame you.

Many women can see a habitual seducer as a real challenge, and you can use this to your advantage. Consider how many women are attracted to gay men and try to seduce them in the hope that they will 'turn straight'. It's the same kind of challenge: she wants to prove that she is so special, she can change a man's very nature.

Another advantage that you have is that most men do not understand why women should be afraid of them and so they have no strategy against it. If they become aware that a woman does not trust them, they will either make the mistake of trying to tackle it head on by saying something like 'I'm not a rapist', or they will think there is something wrong with the woman and try to make her feel bad about herself. This is another big mistake that will make the situation much worse.

The better you understand women, the better you will be able to work around their defenses. The best way to deal with a woman's wariness of men is to make her want to seduce you. Become a challenge for her. Then she will believe that it is you who should be afraid, and all her wariness will vanish.

What is a Good Online Dating Profile

Edited by Jack Strom — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 01:51:19 +0000

Knowing how to write a good online dating profile could make the difference between attracting the man of your dreams and wasting time with guys who are not right for you at all. Your profile is your 'store window', what makes people want to come on in and know you better.

Take time to write your profile - it is important. Often, when a person joins a dating site, the profile is something you have to do right away. The site will not let you get in and see all the other members' profiles until you have done it. So you rush through, writing the minimum in each spot, thinking you will do a better job later, because you are excited to get in.

Then it could be days, weeks or months before you write any more. Meanwhile, you are not giving other members the chance to see you at your best. Most sites have a 'new members' section where they display the profiles of people who just joined. This is a big reason for writing the best profile that you can, right from the start. Guys who have been members for a while will be looking here, and if your profile just says 'I'll do this later', what will they think? Not much, probably.

Your first few hours and days as a brand new member are the best chance you have to attract attention to your profile. So make it good.

You probably already picked out a photo. If not, it should be a recent one, showing you in the picture and nobody else. It is best if you are smiling. Make it head and shoulders only if the display is small. You can usually put other photos in a gallery, if you want to show yourself skiing, with the dog, etc.

When you are describing yourself, try to pick out the things that make you unique. You do not want to sound like everybody else here. Be as specific as you can about what you like. For example, instead of saying that you like movies, give the names of a few of your favorites. Instead of saying that you enjoy eating out, say that you like Thai food.

If there is something unusual about you, such as red hair, a special talent or skill, or even something that you consider to be a disability, make a feature of it. The more you say about yourself the better, as long as you say it in a positive way. Something like 'Only having one arm doesn't stop me loving life, driving a car and doing most everything else a person would want to do.'

On the other hand, do not close off your options by writing too much about what you don't like, or being too specific about the person you want to meet. If you really don't want to meet smokers, Republicans, guys with kids or guys who drink, you might want to say so … but think first whether you are sure. What if a guy only has an occasional beer? What if he has a child somewhere that he never sees?

In the same way, if you say that you like tall, muscular, dark haired guys, you will be limiting your options. A guy who is blond will click away without contacting you, and so will a guy who doesn't think he is particularly tall. Do these things really matter so much?

If you still have no idea what to write in your profile, get a little help from your friends. Ask five friends or family members each to tell you one thing that they like about you, and one thing that is special about you. Put those together and almost instantly you will have a good online dating profile that will attract the right people - the ones who will like you when they meet you.

Signs That He Is Mr Right

Edited by Jack Strom — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 01:55:05 +0000

So you have met a new man but how do you know what are the signs that he is Mr Right? How do you know if he is the one, your soul mate, that you can be happy ever after with?

Intuition

Often you will know the moment you meet someone that there is something special about them. Its that eyes meeting across the room feeling. We are not talking about sexual attraction here, but something deeper.

Its the same feeling that you might get when you first meet someone who is destined to become a great friend. Your intuition tells you that there is some link between you and this person - like you already know them. There is no desperate desire, just the feeling that it is right that you should know this person.

This is the feeling that people describe when they meet their soul mates. But remember, just because he is a soul mate does not necessarily mean that he is the right life partner for you. There are many kinds of soul mate. Sometimes they are family, sometimes they are just very good friends. So this intuition by itself is not enough to identify your Mr Right. If you find he is not available, or not interested in you, accept it and be friendly. There will be some other purpose to your getting to know him.

Synchronicity

Synchronicity is the phenomenon of meaningful things happening together in such a way that they are linked, although one thing did not cause the other. It is as if there is a pattern to the events that is showing you that you are going in the right direction.

If he is the right guy for you, then getting together should not be too much of a struggle. You will find everything falling into place as if it was meant to be. If there are obstacles now and then, they will be overcome; generally, the path is smooth.

Sometimes you may meet the right person at the wrong time. Synchronicity is not there and if you try to force a relationship to happen, it will hit a brick wall. Better to let him go. If he is your Mr Right, he will come back into your life again later, when it is the right time for both of you.

Depth

When you get together with Mr Right, of course you will both fall in love. But most people fall in love often. By itself, that is not necessarily a recipe for living happily ever after.

Try to look beyond the overwhelming emotion of love and think about whether this is a person you will still want to live with when the first rush of love has died down - as it will. If you find this hard to imagine, consider what you would think if you and he were friends of yours.

Do you have plenty of interests in common, or are you just tagging along for his sake? Do you have the same hopes and expectations of life? Do you have the same attitudes to questions like job security, insurance and money management? Do you get along with each others families and friends?

These points will be important later down the line. All of them are signs that he is Mr Right - not just the man of the moment.

What Men Find Attractive In Women

Edited by Jack Strom — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 19:08:50 +0000

If you are wondering what men find attractive in women, there is a very simple answer. You can easily use this information to make yourself more appealing to the average man.

Physically, most men find feminine characteristics attractive in a woman. This means, they like women who are obviously women. The way that this is manifest can vary according to the individual of course and also according to culture, but you do not need me to tell you that physically the average woman is a different shape from the average man.

As well as the obvious fact that women have larger breasts and hips, women also tend to have longer legs in proportion to their torsos than men, smaller feet, longer slimmer fingers, less body hair, more body fat, smoother skin and higher and more arched eyebrows. In most cultures, they also tend to have longer hair on the head. So to make yourself more attractive to most men, no matter what you look like, you simply have to draw attention to or exaggerate your feminine characteristics. Here are some common ways that women do this:

- wear high heels (makes the legs look longer)
- shave legs and armpits
- do not be too thin
- wear makeup (makes the skin look smoother)
- pluck eyebrows from below if necessary (never from above)
- grow long hair
- grow nails (makes fingers look longer)
- wear clothes and jewelry that society currently considers feminine

You probably already knew that men tend to like women who do these things! But many people are not aware of the reason why. It is simply because these things emphasize the difference between men and women.

The opposite is generally true as well. Women tend to prefer men who have broad shoulders and narrow hips, some body hair, more muscle and less fat. Thick, straight eyebrows close over the eye are usually considered attractive in a man. If you look at the pictures of models in a magazine you can see all of these factors being stressed, depending whether the model is a man or a woman.

Some people believe that men are programmed to be hunters and this is why they do not like to be chased after, but prefer to pick out a woman who is not so easy to get. Whether this is true or not, it is always more rewarding and better for the self esteem to be around people who like you and want to be with you. So there is not much point in chasing after a man who really is not interested in you. The best relationships, like the best friendships, are always between two people who both like each other.

Characteristics of personality are harder to generalize about because fortunately, for every personality type that a woman can have, there are some men who will find that attractive. We could say that women tend to be more motherly and caring than men, therefore most men will like a woman who is caring. But some men do not want kids and will run a mile from a woman who seems motherly. Others will feel smothered by a very caring attitude - they like a more independent minded woman.

So when it comes to personality, the best advice is generally to be true to yourself and allow the jewels of your own nature to shine through, without trying to second guess what men find attractive in women.

How Do I Find My Soul Mate Online

Edited by Jack Strom — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 03:16:04 +0000

You may be asking yourself, Will I ever find my soul mate?

Is it the time you started looking online. The chances of finding your soul mate on in the internet are probably a lot better than you think. After all, pretty much everyone goes online these days and you can find people there that you would never meet in the street.

If you are in a job where you do not meet many people that you could date, or if you live way out in the country, the internet will introduce you to a whole new world. Going online is also something you can do very quickly in the middle of a busy life. You can write a few emails on your lunch break or in an internet cafe. You do not have to be home waiting for the phone to ring. You just log in to your email account whenever you can, and see what - or who - is waiting there for you. Of course, you have to be persistent. You may have to exchange email with a few frogs before you hook up with your prince. But do not write people off too soon. Remember, in the story, the frog changed into a prince. Your soul mate probably will not be the person you think is drop dead gorgeous from his photo. You may feel an instant attraction or you may not. Chemistry is not there in the same way when we look at a photo as when we meet a person, so try not to decide until you meet him.

On the other hand, it is an advantage that online dating sites allow us to find out a lot about a person before we meet him. You will know his age, job, whether he has children and his likes and dislikes. But instead of using that information to decide whether he is your soul mate, use it to get to know him better. Ask him about his job, show an interest in his kids, find things that you have in common.

One of the main ways that people connect, make friends, build relationships and feel safe with another person, is by finding links between them. This can be anything from enjoying the same movie or wearing the same color shirt to discovering that your aunt once worked in the building where his brothers business is based. We love to feel that it is a small world, it makes us feel secure.

So use your emails to build these links, or give him enough information that he can see the links for himself. Another great thing about looking for Mr Right online is that both of you probably do not feel so shy. Many people have trouble talking to a stranger but writing a few lines about yourself is easy for most of us. If you do not know what to say in your emails, look to see if he has asked you any questions. Answer them briefly, then ask him a few questions. It is best if the questions that you ask follow on from what you were just telling, so that you do not seem to be interrogating him.

Remind yourself every day, I will find my soul mate online! and very soon your dreams may be coming true.

I�m Available But Not Desperate

Edited by Jack Strom — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:17:58 +0000

When you meet a woman, you want to be very clear that you�re looking for someone to date and that you�re not already in an exclusive relationship. It�s also a good idea to do that without looking desperate.

Sometimes it�s hard to strike that balance, but if you succeed, it�ll be easy to meet interesting women who are interested in you.� Here are a few things to keep in mind when you�re trying to appear attractive and available: 1. You don�t need a girlfriend. They�re great to have around, but if you don�t get a date tonight, you aren�t going to die. You aren�t even going to be bored, because you�re a fun and interesting person who is capable of entertaining himself. If the women you meet don�t accept your offer of a date, you have a backup plan.

2. Most women are friendly, polite, and will try their best to give you a chance. Your job is also to be friendly, polite, and to try your best to give them a chance.

3. Nothing is at stake when you first introduce yourself. All you�re trying to do is say hello. You don�t have to follow up with a brilliant conversation or a grand gesture � you can move on to someone else if you want.

4. If you introduce yourself to enough single women, sooner or later one will begin a conversation with you. And a conversation is halfway to a date.

5. Keep your body language open. Keep your hands open and out of your pockets, and your arms and legs uncrossed. Practice maintaining a confident posture without looking arrogant.

6. Try not to get too concerned about how important your first impression is. It�s important, but a bad impression can usually be fixed if you catch it early. And if you can�t fix it, there are still other women to meet.

7. Your first goal isn�t to meet women and get a date. Actually, your first goal is to practice giving the appearance of a confident, secure, interesting person. Once that starts feeling comfortable, you�ll have women introducing themselves to you.

8. There are a few gestures you can use to show a woman you�re interested in her � meeting her eyes, straightening your tie or coat, and straightening up your posture. She is guaranteed to pick up on these, even if it�s only subconsciously.

The main thing to remember is this: you may be interested in a woman, but you can still live without her. And that�s the key to being available but not desperate.

How to Improve the Online Dating Effectiveness For Women Over 40

Edited by Jack Strom — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 03:43:27 +0000

In their forties, many women start to wonder about online dating effectiveness. Could it work for you?

Maybe nothing else has, so far, and you are still single. Maybe when you were younger, you put most of your effort into your career and were happy for men to come and go. Maybe you are divorced and amazed at how the dating scene has changed since you were last free.

In your forties, you are likely to hear the biological clock ticking. You do not have so long to find Mr Right if you want to have a family. New guys probably do not come into your life very often. What are the chances of one of them being The One? Not very high.

If you go online, you have hundreds or even thousands of men to choose from. All of them are looking for someone, while most of the men you see every day are probably married already. If you choose the right site you can be sure of meeting serious-minded guys who want the same things you want. You can specify any points that are really important to you, such as politics or religion. At the same time, if you are free and willing to move or travel, you can open up your choice to guys who live outside of your city, county, state or even country. These are men that you would never meet without the internet.

Safety may be an issue, but remember that when you meet someone on the street you do not have any way of knowing whether he is a smooth-talking serial killer or whether anything he tells you is true. You can rely on your instinct perhaps but our instincts sometimes tell us things for the wrong reasons.

Certainly online there is the possibility that someone will make up a whole string of lies but those people are few. You can protect yourself a little by talking to him on the phone, checking up where possible, and always arranging the first few dates for a public place. Do not let him pick you up, but meet him there.

You can tell somebody where you are going and arrange for them to call you at a certain time to make sure everything is okay. If you are very nervous, you could even arrange a date where you go with a group or another couple that you know. This can take some of the stress out of the date if you are very shy. However, it is not the best way for you and your date to get to know each other.

You know that Mr Right is out there somewhere. All you have to do is find him. Use all the power of online dating effectiveness to do it!

How To Make Him Fall In Love

Edited by Jack Strom — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:37:48 +0000

So you have met that special guy and you are wondering how to make him fall in love with you. While there is (unfortunately) no magic potion, the good news is that there is a lot you can do to get and keep his interest.

Be Yourself …

Most men are very independent minded creatures and like to make up their own mind about everything. They do not want you to tell them what to do and they do not like to feel they are being led or tricked into liking or disliking something. So there is no point doing things that are not natural to you, to try to please them.

For example, if you hate football, do not pretend to like it just because he is a huge fan. He will know you dont really care, no matter how much work you do learning the names of all the players. He will just think you are trying to deceive or trap him, and he will run a mile.

… And Love Yourself

Be yourself but do not put yourself down. Many people do this, usually to reassure others that we are not a threat, but people will often take you at your own valuation and it can make them think you are boring. Ask your friends for advice here, or record yourself talking. Do you tend to make yourself look small and uninteresting? If you do, you need to get yourself out of this habit. Try to be aware and think before you speak.

Look after yourself physically. Take exercise and try to eat well. This will make you feel better about yourself, plus you will develop a glow that is naturally healthy and attractive. Love yourself and he is much more likely to love you.

Be Interesting

The best way to be an interesting person is to do interesting things. Have a life. Do not spend every evening waiting for the phone to ring or watching movies on TV. Go to an evening class, meet people, take up a sport you used to like in school.

Be careful not to criticize others, too. Repeating scandalous rumors or saying how much you hate someone will only reflect badly on you. Keep that kind of talk for gossip sessions with your friends, if you have to do it at all.

Admire Him

We tend to like the people who like us, so it is fine to let him know that you like him … as a friend. However, if you have fallen in love at first sight it may be best to keep that to yourself. Let him be the first to say I love you.

Most men love to be admired. They may run a mile if you try to cling to them, but they will do almost anything for someone who admires them and believes in them without making any demands.

So while it is better to keep your undying love to yourself, at least at the beginning, it is fine to tell him openly that you admire something he does. Any sentence that starts with I really admire the way you … is a winner. After the first step of loving yourself and your life, this is one of the best ways to make him fall in love.

Here Are 5 Top Romantic Date Ideas

Edited by Jack Strom — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 02:02:45 +0000

Whether you have been married ten years or just beginning to date, having some romantic date ideas up your sleeve is always a good plan. Are you tired of going to the football match every weekend? Does he keep asking you to suggest something to do on your dates, and all you can think of is the same old restaurant or a movie? Keep him interested and keep the relationship fresh with our top 5 list of romantic dates!

1. The Beach At Sunset

There is not much that can beat sunset on the beach for romance. Every girl looks alluring in the warm glow from the setting sun - and you will find your date looks rather gorgeous too!

Take along a bottle of wine (or maybe even champagne) and a picnic of delicious snacks - and dont forget the blanket to cuddle up on when the sun is gone!

2. Scavenge For Kisses

Make a list of 20 things that you are likely to see in your neighborhood or your city - a blue truck, a bicycle, an art gallery, a tied up dog, etc - then go out and find them and kiss in front of each one. Have extra fun by taking along a camera and asking passers by to snap you kissing at each spot.

If you find all 20, you get to go home for a massage. If you dont find all 20 … you still get to go home for a massage!

3. Den Of Love

Build a den or fortress with your date, just like when you were kids. It could be a tree house or a shelter in the woods, or just a construction of chairs and blankets in the house. Then hide out in it together with a feast of food, wine and maybe some romantic music.

4. Meeting A Stranger

Arrange to meet your date in a new bar where you will not see anyone you know. Arrive separately and pretend you are strangers, just meeting for the first time. Flirt and buy each other drinks. To add to the mystery, think of a few things that your date doesnt know about you, to tell him in the bar. He can do the same and you will really be like two people getting to know each other.

5. Hotel De Luxe

If you are married or living together and you want to put some quality time back into your relationship with a little romance thrown in, try a night in a hotel. Its great for getting away from kids, pets, parents and the other day to day elements of your life.

Go for the most luxurious hotel you can afford and spoil yourselves. Take along some massage oils and order room service or champagne. Watch the sunset from your window or balcony, hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the door and leave the TV switched off.

You will be amazed what a few romantic date ideas like these can do for your relationship!